The reading ended up going really well. I actually had a funny littler opener that I went with to break the ice, and I got a good laugh from the crowd. If you know me, you know how it took just about everything I had to make this joke beforehand. I'm not a public speaker. I get nervous and usually come pretty close to blacking out. At least, that's what happened last semester. I had to ask my group the next day if I read the whole poem, because I couldn't remember. This time around, I was marginally better.
For one, I had a good story to open with. I wanted to read a poem I had just written during the residency, and so I called up my mom to read it to her first to see if it was any good. After I was done reading, I was like, "So, do you like it?" After a considerable pause, my mom said, "No...Not really." Which, while deflating my ego significantly, was also pretty funny five minutes later when I could appreciate the humor of it. Because I know my mom well enough that it wasn't really as mean, like it sounded. However, I thought that I could really play with this, "My own mother doesn't even like my writing!" bit to lighten up the mood and loosen up my own nerves beforehand. So I told the story, and I even tried to add in the dramatic pauses. After the story, I said, "So I thought about reading something else that had been critiqued by my peers, but I was finally like, no, screw it. I'm reading this, so if it really does suck, don't tell me." I did the reading then, and everything didn't get black, I didn't start having trouble breathing. I was fine.
Afterwards, I got compliments and words of sympathy from students and staff that must have really thought my mom's words had upset me, when really they had just given me a good laugh and lightened up the situation. She did call later to apologize repeatedly too, but I didn't use that in my story, because then it wasn't as funny. Even though my mentor said half of what made it so funny was how awkward I seemed up there saying it. Oh well! I did it, and it was an improvement from last semester, so I'm very satisfied with that. I also really like the poem I read for it, and I'm hoping to get it fine-tuned and sent out in the future. As for the rest of the residency, it was basically all about the wrapping-up process. I did get an "A" for the week, so no complaints there, and I also realized that my interest in teaching creative writing has significantly spiked. Particularly because one of my group mates said that she wanted to write poetry like mine, and then I started thinking about how I would go about teaching someone the methods that have helped me most. I wish I could just go straight into the creative writing job after this degree. I'm really excited about it.
Now it's time for the Fall Tutorial, which has officially started for me early, because I am seriously OCD about being early. My packet wasn't due until the 13th, but I sent it off on the 3rd, and Gary has already emailed me to tell me his notes are in the mail. I wish I didn't have to wait to find out what he has to say. Snail mail is killer. Though he did give me a sliver of greatness in the email. Two little sentences where he singled out one of the poems I was most pleased with in the packet and told me it was great. I don't know if you've ever watched Madtv, but I just wanted to wave my poem around going, "Look what I can do!" 
So I now have to wait patiently to see the extent of what he has to say about my 3 new poems and 1 revision. To pass the time, I've started reading the next two books that will be my annotation papers. Right now I'm on Loose Woman by Sandra Cisneros. Even though some of it is in Spanish, and I have to Google translations, I already love it. We don't really have the same type of style, but I can appreciate where she's coming from and how solid what I've read so far is.
Besides that, the weather here today is wonderful. It's been miserably hot, but we are supposed to have a cooler weekend, and I am looking forward to enjoying being outside again after a long, long while of holing up inside. Adam and I went for a bike ride today, and I'd like to start doing so every day, weather permitting. Other than that, my plan for this semester is to do a little more research on my family, maybe construct the most accurate family tree as possible, and start branching out as far as characters in my poems go. I'll keep you posted.
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