If Not Now, When?

It's hard to believe that the year is already coming to a close. Tomorrow is the last PACT meeting of the year, last week was the last PNG class, my final packet has long since been sent off, and everything is winding down. The last part of this year, I've become extremely reflective. Writing about my family, I am continually reminded that life is short, that we can stand in our own way, or we can actively try to find happiness. I started thinking about my goals in life. Aside from being a poet, how far do I want to take it? How hard have I actually been trying to meet those goals? Where do I see myself three years from now, and do I like it?

I know that one of my main goals has to be to write and submit. Submit, submit, submit. I have three poems total that will be published next year, but I know I can do better. I have to stop being afraid of submitting and putting myself out there. I have some great poems that are just sitting on my computer, because I can't quit second-guessing them. So my first New Years Resolution is to submit. To at least three different places and to be more confident in what I can do. I got into Murray for a reason, right?

Anyway, I've decided to use the last half of December as a time to get all of my eggs in a row. With the break from school and work, I'm going to focus on stress-free reflection time. Peaceful time. I'm thinking this Friday that I am going to take a hiatus from Facebook until the New Year. I'm just going to stay as far away from my computer and phone as possible, unless it's to write. I think I've started to realize that I spend too much time waiting for things to happen instead of making them happen, and it just doesn't work like that.

                                          

If I want to see places and do certain things, then I'm going to have to work to achieve it. I just don't want to be 30 and wondering when it's all going to start. So that's my goal: starting Friday, no technology unless it involves writing, and no exceptions until the end of the year. Just in time for January 4th, when I return for my third residency at Murray, and then I'll be wanting to keep my blog updated on the happenings there. Even though I am foreseeing a mountain of work and a bad case of exhaustion. I can't wait. I really can't. I love being on campus and in that environment and with those people. They are great people. I am already very fortunate to be a part of that community.

So, here's to a New Year, new goals, new passion, and new experiences, and may we all be so lucky to be able to do the things we want to do. For me this consists of writing as part of my career and traveling. Oh, and having a book. At least one really great book that people want to read. I don't expect that to happen next year. I'm just saying, ultimately. Happy holidays, everyone!