Thesis Completesis

Well, I have successfully defended my thesis.


It was incredibly terrifying but awesome at the same time. Particularly after my reading. I was on Cloud 9 with all of the compliments I received. I honestly wanted the reception after the reading to keep going and going so that I could just be all egotistical and bathe in the praise all night long. I think perhaps one of the best compliments came from the person that told me that he hadn't thought he liked poetry, but that he would definitely read my book when it came out. I was even told by one man--one man that I considered the toughest critic there--that I did a really good job. I immediately told Adam that I had officially "made it".  Then there was also the fact that my poetry professor from SIU drove all the way to Murray to hear my reading, which was incredibly flattering and amazing.


I probably looked like a fool, grinning from ear to ear, gushing out thank-yous and barely anything else. I think Adam also enjoyed himself, as he was a bit of celebrity, being the person that all of my coal mine poems were about. It was great to see him getting some praise too. But the whole thing went by in a whirlwind really. I was so nervous. The first part of my reading, I knew I was talking too fast. I finally fell into my groove about three poems though and managed to discreetly gasp for deep breaths between poems. I think I was most nervous about living up to my introduction by my thesis director. What a night.


Before that though, I had my defense, which also went really well. Particularly because it just felt like I was in a room full of my friends. We could have easily been sitting in a living room, having a drink, discussing some other person's poetry. It had a really great vibe, and I was able to answer all of the questions (which I think is a huge achievement) in a smart way. I know that probably sounds silly, but I was worried I would somehow sound stupid. I think I managed not to. I honestly would have liked the defense to have lasted longer. I received a lot of great feedback, and it was just nice to have a conversation with three people I greatly admire. I have a book by each one of my mentors, and each time I read them, I'm just like, wow, how can I even compare? So to have them tell me that they like my poems is really something.


The only thing that didn't go very well was my teaching presentation. I hadn't gone in with high hopes though, so I wasn't really surprised. Just disappointed in myself. I even managed to start off the class with a joke, and everyone laughed, and then I just got incredibly nervous and forgot what I was talking about. I think it took a grand total of twenty minutes, when it should have at least been 40. I'm just glad it's over, and I can put it behind me.


And, after that was over, I had a lot of fun the rest of the week hanging out with friends and becoming better acquainted with people I hadn't gotten much of a chance to talk to before. I think that was one of the things I enjoyed most, hanging out with everyone. Murray is probably the only place that I can be a social person. It's the only place that I can get myself to talk to people, as I am a very introverted person. Imagine that. An introverted writer. Anyway, I just wanted to quickly sum up my thesis, because I really got on the computer to submit to contests, and I need to do that before it gets much later, and I get lazy. That's it for now.